Randers (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} carvingmyniche) wrote,@ 2005-01-21 16:32:00 |
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the internet makes me sad.
so i havent been online in months. it has been my escapeing from everything. but getting back on it now and checking my email and seeing that after all this time i have like 50 myspace things to look at and then proceeding to view the photos of all the people on my friends page..it made me very sad. where the hell are these people? these people were my friends. i used to hang out with all of them. and this sounds bad, but about the time john raped me was the time everyone did their whole "i told you so, i told you that guy was shitty." speeches, and then stopped calling me and stopped returning my phone calls. yea, nice one guys! but im trying to get in touch with a few and work my way through seeing all of them before i leave for good.
so took the road trip with sean. we are in tennessee right now hanging out. hes in the other room with all the people smoking weed and watching napoleon dynamite. steen is in the kitchen making weed sweets for her bfs bday. laurel is having a party tonite too so we are gonna make our way around. weather is nice here; sean and i are loving it.
i went in for an mri on wednesday to make sure i didnt have a tumor in my brain. it was not a fun experience. i didnt realize im a tiny bit claustraphobic. they put this cage like thing over your face so you cant move at all and my nose kept itching. my arm is pretty bruised where they put the dye in me. but anyway. no tumor. i just have some problems that actually dont suck now that i know whats been wrong with me.
still not over this. im still upset and i dont know what i would do if i ever came face to face with him again. but whatever its my own problem to deal with, right?
damn it smells like weed in here.
wish critt could have come with us.
im so torn. so very torn. this decision making (and not changing my mind) thing has never been one of my fortes.
really creative these past couple of days. drawing...been going through words in my head. forgot my camera, sucks.
anyway, going out to see what the rest of the house is up to...or if they have all passed out.
so i havent been online in months. it has been my escapeing from everything. but getting back on it now and checking my email and seeing that after all this time i have like 50 myspace things to look at and then proceeding to view the photos of all the people on my friends page..it made me very sad. where the hell are these people? these people were my friends. i used to hang out with all of them. and this sounds bad, but about the time john raped me was the time everyone did their whole "i told you so, i told you that guy was shitty." speeches, and then stopped calling me and stopped returning my phone calls. yea, nice one guys! but im trying to get in touch with a few and work my way through seeing all of them before i leave for good.
so took the road trip with sean. we are in tennessee right now hanging out. hes in the other room with all the people smoking weed and watching napoleon dynamite. steen is in the kitchen making weed sweets for her bfs bday. laurel is having a party tonite too so we are gonna make our way around. weather is nice here; sean and i are loving it.
i went in for an mri on wednesday to make sure i didnt have a tumor in my brain. it was not a fun experience. i didnt realize im a tiny bit claustraphobic. they put this cage like thing over your face so you cant move at all and my nose kept itching. my arm is pretty bruised where they put the dye in me. but anyway. no tumor. i just have some problems that actually dont suck now that i know whats been wrong with me.
still not over this. im still upset and i dont know what i would do if i ever came face to face with him again. but whatever its my own problem to deal with, right?
damn it smells like weed in here.
wish critt could have come with us.
im so torn. so very torn. this decision making (and not changing my mind) thing has never been one of my fortes.
really creative these past couple of days. drawing...been going through words in my head. forgot my camera, sucks.
anyway, going out to see what the rest of the house is up to...or if they have all passed out.
